Resilience | Self Improvement
A 24 Minutes LinkedIn Course Taught Me a Lot about How to be Resilient
And I shrunk those 24 minutes into 5 minutes and 10 lessons for you.
“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” –Nelson Mandela
When you google define:resilience, the Lexico (Oxford) dictionary brings up two definitions for the word resilience.
1. the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
2. the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.
If you asked me about learning one skill in life, I’d answer Resilience.
To survive and thrive, at school or work, or in life generally, everyone needs to learn to be resilient, especially now more than ever.
In search of learning how to being resilient, I stumbled upon a LinkedIn course titled: Subtle shift in thinking for tremendous resilience. Created by Pete Mockaitis of How to Be Awesome at Your Job, this is a podcast like course — spanning only 24 minutes and 15 seconds. Pete interviews renowned American author, professor, and speaker Charlie Harary. Charlie recommends little tweaks for our thinking style to be more resilient.
Key topics discussed during the course are as follows.
1. Feel great by reframing your perspective
2. Evaluate your beliefs
3. Take control of your feelings
4. Use disappointments for valuable introspection
5. Beware of victim mentality
6. Make time for processing emotions
7. Recognize your innate greatness
8. Satisfy your need to improve and connect
9. Greatness comes from deliberate discomfort
10.Small rituals lead to big changes
Here are my takeaways from the course for the above ten sections.
1.Feel great by reframing your perspective. Greatness is a feeling which empowers you. It tells you that you’re doing what you should be doing. As a result, you get a sense of greatness in you. Charlie recommends to know one’s approach in life and advises to use it positively.
Greatness isn’t necessarily what the world tells you, you are. It is also not the medal they put around your neck or the grade they give after your name.
2.Evaluate your beliefs. People around us will always hurt us, some way or the other. It’s not the people who we should blame; instead, we should evaluate our beliefs. Whenever others disempower us, we should ask ourselves what is in our belief which is causing us to feel a certain way.
We need to realize that whatever goes on around us doesn’t have to impact what’s inside us. And if we just practice that, every single day, it will help us start to condition our minds to react to the world in the most empowered way.
3.Take control of your feelings. While empowerment can make us do wonders, disempowerment can pull us down. When we live a disempowered life, we just live to survive, with less desire. You can’t blame others for that. It’s just your mind, playing games with you. Don’t listen to it, and empower yourself.
Empowerment in difficult times, more than their natural capacity, usually is what makes great people achieve things that we all know and recognize.
4.Use disappointment for valuable introspection. Whenever someone hurts you, rather than feeling always hurt in their presence, introspect. Every disappointment and failure you face is an opportunity to analyze what went wrong, and how you can convert that into success.
Try working on yourself to be more of a giver, to figure out where you can be better at your jobs to understand what caused a disappointment to happen.
5.Beware of victim mentality. It’s human nature to feel victimised whenever things take a wrong turn — at work and in life alike. We tend to turn to our friends and seek validation. They, being our friends, agree which makes us believe others are bad and we are victims. Beware of this and never let this take control over you.
Whenever you have a bad thought, see yourself like a plumber. You walk into a house and there a leak. The plumber wants the leak because once you find the leak, you can find the problem. If there’s no leak, it’s in the walls. Everything may burst at that point. If you don’t see it as a leak to figure out where the source is from, at some point you’re going to burst.
6.Make time for processing emotions. We need to monitor our daily disempowering thoughts. Using journal helps. And, to understand our feelings and how we behave in certain situations, analysis can take days, weeks, or even months. We must give ourselves this time.
There’s no right and wrong answer. But this is part of the joy of growth that you delve into yourself, and you get more honest with yourself, and you come face to face with your greatest insecurities, and you’re okay with it.
7.Recognize your innate greatness. Your worth as a human being is not contingent upon your usefulness, wealth, body shape, or any other feature. Our soul, our humanity, and kindness inside us are more significant than our physical being. Over time, you’ll get to know more about your innate greatness.
When a person goes through life realizing that they have all the greatness that they ever want inside them, and their job in life is to just reveal it, to bring it out, to bring that which is inside them to the outside, you’re not waiting for the world to validate you.
8.Satisfy your needs to improve and connect. Charlie talks about self-determination theory which explains we have two needs: one is competence or mastery and the second is connectiveness or relatedness. We need to satisfy both needs to live a fulfilling life.
Always keep working on getting better, but at the same time, you got to be connected to people, to have an exciting life.
9.Greatness comes from deliberate discomfort. In life, if you want to achieve greatness, you’ll need to go outside your comfort zone. Every single day try to learn one new thing, and take a proactive approach toward life.
Growth is threatening, and growth is painful. It’s uncomfortable. And so when opportunity comes my way that’s uncomfortable, usually it’s just garment of growth.
10. Small rituals lead to big changes. Charlie tells us that we can’t change our mindset overnight. If we want to change our mindset, it’s a long journey, and we should set a longer timeline. Small steps taken every day can help us achieve anything.
Rituals can be really small. Like someone can actually do a ritual for five, ten minutes a day, and over the course of a year, literally change their mind and their life.
“However long the night, the dawn will break.” African Proverb
Based in Melbourne, Salam is a polyglot poet by passion and an Agile Coach by profession. He writes about resilience, motivation, love, heartache, and Mother Nature, among other things.